The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Let no Mu’min hate a Mu’minah: if he hate her for one trait in her character, let him be pleased with another that is in her.” [Sahih Muslim]
Each person comes into this world with a set of questions to answer. The exam of life is different for each person. Some are born into rich households and some into poor. Some are born into educated families while others are born to illiterate parents. Some are born into large families while others have no siblings and get orphaned. Similarly, each person gets a spouse who is uniquely for him/her. That spouse is another one of the questions Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) has placed in their exam of life.
In an exam we are so worried about how we will fare that we couldn’t care less how the person sitting next to us is doing. All that’s on our minds is our own exam and doing it as best we can in the time we have. The result of our own exam is what’s foremost on our minds.
So if the person next to me is writing all the answers wrong in an exam will I throw my paper at the invigilator and leave the exam hall?
Or if the person sitting next to me is answering two questions wrong, should I answer four wrong in vengeance?
Then why consume myself in fixing my spouse. I have my own exam to take care of and time is running out!
Even if I don’t like one of the questions in my exam I’ll do it the best I can anyway. Bothersome traits in my spouse are those difficult questions. I better not overlook the easy questions He (subhana wa ta’ala) has given me in my spouse’s likeable traits, or the lack of gratitude will lose me the easy marks!